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Teens
Parents

Teens

Have a question, but don’t know who to ask?

Seeking mature guidance, but don’t feel comfortable asking your parents?

ASK A.J.
A.J. is a professional therapist who will read your questions with care and give you an honest and informed answer.
Click here to ask a question A.J. will get back to you via email within 72 hours, although it may take approximately one week before you are able to view the answer on this page.

Click on the questions below to see what A.J. has said in the past!
(Updated 12/13/06)

• Is weed addictive?
  
  
• Are gangs bad if they don't harm anyone?
  
  
• Ok, I told this guy, after knowing him for at least three or four years (we did go out), that I thought I was in love with him, we're not together now, but we flirt a lot and hang out and are considered "friends with benefits." Our friends are also always telling us we should start dating again. He said he felt for me too, and if he wasn't taken then we'd be together, but then he said something about it wasn't me, it was him being the main reason we're not together. Does that mean he's scared of me or something now because I told him that? Or is he just scared knowing he can be with me and stays with me or something like that? I'm confused and I don't know how to take what he said. I could use any help you can offer.
  
  
• What is Mono, is it infectious, and what is the cure?
  
  
• Can I get mono from kissing?
  
  
• If I have sex with someone who has Mono but don't kiss them, can I still get Mono?
  
  
• I can't sleep at night but my parents won't let me take any medication. Do you have any suggestions?
  
  
• I have a guy friend and I found out he likes me and he told our friend that he won’t be with me because he’s afraid our friendship will be messed up and I really like him and so does he. please help, oh and please send your answer to [e-mail address] because this is my dad’s email address that your receiving and I don’t want him to know yet thank you in advance and goodbye
  
  
• How old do I have to be to get a tattoo? Does it really hurt?
  
  
• There's a kid at school that's always teasing me. How can I get him to stop?
  
  
• My mom kicked me out of her house and she doesn’t want me, my dad is thinking about doing the same thing what do I do? I need a home I’m only 14..... please write back and help me I just cant deal with everything ...My friends and relationships are going down hill I like this friend of mine his name is … and I don’t know if I’m even gong to be able to live a life if I cant get my relationships and my living situation turned around please help me....
  
  
• I’m 11 and I want to have a boyfriend really bad! My mom says to have a boyfriend I have to write down 11 good reasons to have a boyfriend. what should I do?
  
  
• I just moved from California to a small town in Wyoming. Its very Mormon oriented. I do have a few friends that aren’t Mormon and the Mormons like turn on you when you’re not expecting it. I hate it … what should I do?
  
  
• I am 19 years old, I work full time during the day and I go to school full time at night. My life is pretty busy. I live with my boyfriend and his family for a few reasons one being convenience they live right by my work and school, and secondly because I love being able to spend this time with my boyfriend. We would have our own place but we can't right know due to financial restraints. My mom lives about 20 minutes away and constantly complains that I don't see her enough, and don't spend enough time with my family. I tried to explain to her that I have such a busy schedule, and that I am not doing this intentionally, but she doesn't understand and she makes me feel so guilty and awful for living my life like this. I also explained to her that if I moved away to college she really would only see me a few times a year. I don't know what else to do. Please help!
  
  
• Where would I find info on Sex Education?
  
  
• My Boyfriend just started doing weed 1 week and a day ago. His mom died on the 8th of July and the funeral was the 11th of July on the 11th we got in a huge fight and that’s when he started. I've tried to get him to stop but he won't listen. He told me not to tell anyone but I care about him to much. What can I do? How can I get him to stop? The only people who know are me, my mom, my friend, my grandmother and his cousin. What can I do to help him before it gets too far?
  
  
• My friends drink beer at parties. I don't but feel left out. What can I say to them?
  
  
• My parents won't let me date until I'm 16 but a boy asked me to a movie. What should I tell him?
  
  
• I need help. What can I say to my friend that I really like and I think he likes me and I want to tell him how I feel about him but I don’t know what to tell him I already got this much...ok this is from my heart I love you, I love you a lot, I mean ALOTTTTT.....your like everything to me every time you same something sweet I feel special. I love you more than I love you more den I love my family. If anything bad happens to you ill like kill myself! I want to share my life with you. I want you to be apart of my life Andrew!
  I don’t know what else to say I mean I love him and I want him to know that I do so maybe he can go out with me because I know he wants to what should I say? Hope you can help!
  
  
• My friend told me she wanted to commit suicide and instructed me not to tell anyone. What should I do?
  
  
• I'm 16, I was raped when I was 5 yrs old, My current boyfriend is pressuring me to have sex with him, I haven't had intercourse since the incident, but I've performed oral, I'm am nervous about having sex because I've heard that when people are raped they sometimes can't have sex for whatever reasons, do you have any advice?
  
  
• Can I still go to college if I don't get good grades?
  
  
• When we go to the mall, my friends shoplift stuff for fun. They say they won't get caught. Will I get in trouble if I'm with them but don't take anything?

Parents

Lost about how to handle a situation with your teen child?

Concerned about your teenager?

ASK A.J.
A.J. is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who will provide you with professional guidance in dealing with your teen.
Click here to ask a question. A.J. will get back to you via email within 72 hours, although it may take approximately one week before you are able to view the answer on this page.

Click on the questions below to see what A.J. has said in the past!
(Updated 12/13/06)

• My daughter is 13 years old and has been going through a very hard time. I want to help her and for the first time as a parent I do not know the words to make her feel better or remedy the problem.
  
  My daughter has been friends with a group of girls for the last year or so since she started attending middle school. They were pretty tight and though they had small rifts, they got along well.  A few weeks ago everything went wrong. One of her friends got angry at something my daughter did, which without going into all the details was about something very minor and done at the request of the girl. When my daughter went to school she was completely frozen out by this girl and all the girls in the group felt they had to pick sides and did not pick my daughter's side. To make it harder for my daughter was the fact the girls actually told her they would be her friend in class and on the phone and computer but could not let this other girl know they were friends. One girl who was my daughter's partner in gym class was walking with her after class and upon seeing the other girls, actually told my daughter to get away and not to follow her. Another girl who was raised properly was told if she spoke to my daughter they would all sock her 10 times in the arm. Happily she did not buckle to the pressure and is the only one willing to be her own person and be a seen with my daughter. During the last few weeks my daughter has not known where to go for lunch and is not welcome anywhere at school. She is lost and sad all the time.
  
  I worry about her because she is not the type to cry over things and has been through many hard situations in her life. She is pretty strong and resilient, but this has gone on so long it is wearing her down emotionally and making my happy positive girl into a very sad young lady. She has been getting physically sick over all the stress and tonight asked me if maybe she was wrong about herself. She said she must not be the person she thought she was if everyone hated her so much. She was crying and saying she thought she was a good friend but must have been wrong for everyone to hate her. I am concerned for her because she is almost completely broken from this and her self esteem is shattered. It is killing me to see her hurt so badly. She has had more loss in her life then most kids and dealt with some heavy stuff regarding her dad. Through all that she never lost hope or had any self loathing or days of gloom, but this situation has brought out a side of my daughter I never knew. She is defeated, lost and has no idea how to make things better. Please help advise me on what I can do for her because this is really taking a toll not only on her, but I feel so sad and hurt for her. As her mother I need to help her, but nothing I have suggested has worked to make things any better so far.
  
  The thing I feel so bad about is the girls who are doing this were her best friends. I wish they understood friends are supposed to have each other's back. My daughter is begging me to put her in a new school and insisting she cannot take another day of feeling lost and feeling like she has nowhere to go at school that she can feel comfortable.  Tonight it killed me when she told me she feels so lost. This is not the child I know and it seems they have won in breaking her spirit. I feel pulling her out of this school would be teaching her to run from problems and to walk away when life gets hard. I want to teach her to be strong and to resolve conflicts through communication, compassion and care! The dilemma is it is not just one girl, but has gotten so big and out of control than the whole group has turned on her. Any wisdom or advice would be greatly appreciated because I am at a loss!
  
  
• My daughter and her boyfriend broke up after 5 months of dating. She is 15, she is moody and depressed, her grades have slipped, and she keeps emailing him about how horrible her life is now and that she is just miserable and hates her life and family?? Help!
  
  
• Is marijuana addictive?
  
  
• We had to move from Wisconsin to Utah this summer in my daughter's junior year. She is having great trouble adjusting despite making the girl's tennis team and the Advanced Women's choir, two of her most sought after interests. She went the first day of school, but said it was horrible, no one talked to her and that the teachers were horrible and the other students druggies. She cried all night and on day two (today) refused to even go. Her dad and I insisted and weathered through the barrage of F words, screams, threats to end her life etc. In other words we stood our ground, acknowledged her unhappiness and anger but drove her to school. My gut tells me it was the right thing to do, but my heart aches for her. This is a usually happy, friendly young lady. She is also an intelligent (4.0) student and prides herself on doing well in school--until this morning when she announced that she didn't care, would flunk out or run away.
  
  Should I continue to "make" her go to school? What about counseling--I called the school one but she hasn't returned my calls yet. I am considering outside therapy, but is that over reacting? Should I give her more time and hope the morning battles don't persist? She wants me to home school her or send her back to WI to live with friends and return to her old HS. We told her she needed to stay here for at least one school year and give it her best shot and then at the end of the year we would discuss the possibility of a domestic exchange student for her senior year if needed. That doesn't appear good enough for her--thus the HUGE tantrum this morning.
  
  We love our daughter very much and want her to be happy. Any suggestions?
  
  
• With the recent local news, I've thought a lot about suicide among teens. Can you talk about that?
  
  
• I just found out that it is possible that my 13 year old daughter might have kissed another girl (age 11) on the chest. I do not know for sure if this is true, both my daughter and the 11 year old said it isn't. But what do I do if it is? My daughter never gets in trouble at school, at other peoples homes, and very seldom gets in trouble at home. She is a very sweet person.
  
  I was also told that she bullies people around and I’m finding this very hard to believe, but I know anything is possible. For thirteen years I have never had any complaints, as a matter of fact I have people wanting to adopt her to help them out with their teenage daughters. But if this is true than what and how do I talk to her without making matters worse. I'm against anything that isn't heterosexual, but I love my daughter unconditionally. Please Help...
  
  
• What is Mono is it infectious and what is the cure?
  
  
• Where would I find info on Sex Education?

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