|
Communication Combats
Adolescent's Bad Attitude, Rebellion
by Judith S. Duque
Los Altos Town Crier
"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so
ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at
how much he had learned in seven years." - Mark
Twain
Q. One parent writes: "I don't know whether to
cry, yell or hit my teenager. Her moods, disrespectful
words and wordless stares are driving me nuts." Another
parent writes: "I cannot stand what my son has become.
... His pants hang down around his crotch, he walks by
me as if I were invisible, and the monosyllabic grunts
to any conversation are sending me into 'I hate my own
child' thoughts." Both parents ask, "What
happened to my adorable, loving and respectful child?
And where did I go wrong?"
A. You probably did nothing wrong. Your child became
an adolescent. Some kids ooze into adolescence; there
were a few hints of what was to be. Others go to bed
a lovable child and wake up an unrecognizable monster
with an Attitude. The external signs of rebellion, such
as cleavage on display, low-slung pants, tattoos and
hair dyes, can be embarrassing, while the attitude can
be infuriating.
KEY: Talk with other parents. It will be reassuring
to know you're not alone. It's also helpful to realize
that all parents have second thoughts about the ways
they've handled their kids.
KEY: What's going on is less about you and all about
your teenager.
KEY: Attitude and rebellion are two of a teen's ways
to begin the separation from their parents. For teens
to want to push away is a healthy part of growing up
and becoming separate human beings from their parents.
KEY: There are many levels of rebellion, ranging from
a few bad days to a few bad years, as well as a few bad
words and many ugly words.
KEY: To help with these rebellious times, the pamphlet
published by Adolescent Counseling Services in 2006 is
a must for parent-child communication. Titled "99
Tips for Talking with Your Teenager," it is a gem.
It can be ordered by calling 424-0852 or by visiting
www.acs-teens.org. At $4.99, your teens will thank you.
A testimonial from the mom of a 16-year-old: "Thank
you very much for the helpful book. I can't tell you
how much it has helped in my relationship with my son.
I still have my moments when I want to revert back to
my old ways of noncommunication via the wrong thing to
say, but for the most part I'm staying on track!"
KEY: Leave "99 Tips for Talking with Your Teenager" on
the kitchen table and when your teen makes some remark
(possibly sneering), your response will be a simple, "I'm
working on becoming a better parent."
KEY: From the "99 Ways" pamphlet: "Speak
when you're angry and you will make the best speech you
will ever regret" - Ambrose Bierce.
» Visit article website
« Back to ACS in the News
|
