|
I want to thank everyone that is here tonight, for if it were not for people like yourselves I surely would either be dead or incarcerated. I am a product of a chronic alcoholic father, severe domestic violence and a broken up home. I had no idea when entering Adolescent Counseling Services at the age of 16 that I would be embarking upon a life long journey of learning about myself, my chemical dependency, and depression. To the contrary, I only went to counseling to get everyone off my back and avoid juvenile hall. A naïve 16 year old I was; thinking I could fake it and pretend my way through. Regardless of how hard I tried to manipulate, lie, and deny I had a drug and alcohol problem, I slowly began to open up to my ACS counselor, Leatrce.
Although I always had the loving support of my mother, my child hood trauma and addiction was much too deep for me to be able to open up completely at first. Mom and I fought it out in our counseling sessions for maybe a year, until slowly I began to realize I did have a problem, but just never had been taught how to ask for help. You see, when I had problems at home my idea of help was getting drunk with my friends. When I didn't understand what was being taught in school I would leave class to smoke marijuana. When I needed to catch up on homework, I stayed up all night on meth. And when it was all too much for me to deal with I became suicidal.
My counselors here at ACS were amongst the first to teach me healthy ways of asking for help. My counselors and my mom and I planted seeds that later proved to help me throughout my young adult hood. ACS opened my eyes to the fact that I was an addict and my mom’s eyes to the fact that she was a co-dependent. My mom and I both committed ourselves to working with ACS, as we began to understand that this truly was a family disease. My mom actually became some what of a role model for other parents. Even though English was not her primary language, she would speak up in family group sessions and talk about our family’s problems and how we were getting through them. I truly would not be here if it had not been for my mom’s participation in therapy. Thank you ma...
By this time I was over 18 and was being phased out of the program. After a year or so of sobriety I let everybody down with a relapse. Once again the pressures of my life triggered my disease and I drank. I felt like a failure. I felt like a hypocrite. I felt like there was no hope, but at least I had learned how to ask for help, so I told my ACS counselor. She gave me the phone number of a local program for adults, and a week later I was in a residential recovery facility.
I wish I could say it has been a cake walk since then, but it has not been. Entering residential treatment was indeed a crossroads. This residential facility picked up where ACS left off. I devoted my life to my 12 step program and vigorous continued therapy. As a result I experienced 4 wonderful years of continuous sobriety. Over time I became overly confident and I slowly stopped working as strong of a program. My depression took this opportunity to come roaring back into my life and so I relapsed yet again. This time I spent almost two years supposedly trying to figure out whether or not I was truly an alcoholic/addict. It was harder than ever to get clean again. Not even the news that I was a father to be could deter me from using. I couldn't go a day without getting drunk.
Through what I believe was the grace of my Higher Power I was able to get clean again. I would like to thank my wife who was there for me while I was using and would much prefer that I be overly active in my 12 step program than annoyingly drunk. She has been very loving, caring and patient with me and I am blessed to be able to raise our daughter with her while sober. On May 6th it will be 4 years since I last used, and I am proud to say that my 3 year old daughter Sofia has never seen me under the influence.
This 12 year process of growth and healing might never have happened except that Adolescent Counseling Services intervened in my life, and for that I will be forever thankful.
|
